The day of the inconsolable crying
Let me tell you about the hardest night we ever had. I think maybe it’s week 2 or 3 now. We kind of have this pseudo-routine going on if you can even call it that. When I say my kid isn’t (or wasn’t) a good napper, I’m talking like 20 minute power snooze’s all day. He was just such an alert newborn! Just looking and observing, fighting sleep. We tried everything to extend the naps but he just wasn’t having it. So naturally when bedtime rolled around both Johnny and I are stressed, tired, and just ready to restart the day.
So we do our normal night time thing, feed the dog, take her to the bathroom, go upstairs, bath, books feed and bed. He was kind of fussy all day here and there but nothing super crazy. Just a bit fussier then normal.
Bed. Well. Let me tell you. This was a no-go tonight. This little boy wailed and wailed and wailed. It did not matter what we did. No bouncing, rocking, shhhh’ing, songs, books, bath, food really calmed him down. We were at a loss. We just didn’t know how to help him. We are thinking it has to be a gas bubble! So we patted his back, did position changes, peddled the leggies, rubbed the belly did all the tips and tricks. I went to Dr. Google and Dr. Instagram for tips. Nothing worked. No swaddle. No putting him down. NOTHING. Here I am at my wits end, trying not to get upset because you know babies can feel your stress so I’m channeling my inner yoga (which is like a turtle doing the 50 meter dash, like it just does not work for me). Johnny is being so nice but also stressed. Molly is going bananas because Elliot is crying and she can’t figure out why. At this point we are a sitcom on ABC basically with all the noise between Elliot and Molly and the carnival tricks we are trying to pull out of our hats to make Elliot stop crying. Just enroll me in a circus why don’t you. Finally, I was like let’s just do skin to skin for a while and see if that at least calms him down for sleep.
So here we are, doing skin to skin in the dead of winter. It was the only way he could sleep. So we took shifts ALL NIGHT LONG. 2 hours on mom (while I was awake watching tv, reading scrolling on my phone etc.) while dad slept, two hours on dad while mom slept. Rinse and repeat.
We were in need of ALL THE COFFEE the next morning. And naturally he was completely normal by morning. There was no gas, no bowel movement, no burp nothing overnight that led me to believe that it was gas. To this day we still don’t know what happened. But you know that full next day I was analyzing every single thing. Picking apart what I ate, what I drank and did that day that could have set him off. I wouldn’t eat shepherd’s pie for weeks after that because that’s what I had for dinner that night and I wasn’t jinxing it.
How many of you do that? Are you superstitious about those things because I am. I will not repeat anything I think caused that at LEAST for the next few weeks. It’s madness but it makes me feel better and makes sense in my head.
Anyways, what did we learn from this experience Lauren? I learned that every day is different. And what happens one day is not going to happen the next. My type A personality still struggles with this 5 months later. But it’s true. Also another thing to remember, you have bad days as an adult. A day where your stomach hurts or you have a headache or you just aren’t feeling well. Babies do too! They just can’t verbalize it or do anything to help themselves yet. All you need to do is be there in the present moment and console. If they are fed and safe, they may just need to cry. And that’s ok. It’s their way of communicating. Your smell, your touch. That’s what they need. And tomorrow is a new day. You can get through this.
