That First Night
OKAY so you had a baby. Now what?
First initial thoughts – we got this! We have this teenie tiny baby here who’s snoozing away. He’s been latching pretty well for fresh out of the oven here. He’s swaddled in the bassinet peacefully sleeping. Johnny is resting in the recliner and I’m in mild pain, sitting here watching Hallmark Christmas movies as I wait for my new baby to wake up for food. Life. Is. Good.
Of course despite the smushed head from the birth and wrinkly red face, I think this child is just the cutest thing in the world. His little gums, tiny fingers and toes. Little stretches. Omg. This is worth it.
Hardest thing I’ve probably ever done giving birth. I got an epidural but I’m like 90% sure it didn’t work on half my body. Or I’m just a wimp when it comes to pain. But really, so cool! THE THIRST THOUGH. I can’t even begin to tell you how thirsty I was during birth. PARCHED. Sahara desert-like. 40 days and 40 nights of lying in a desert. My mouth was sandpaper. I’ve never felt so much thirst. And truthfully, maybe I’m being dramatic but in the moment, I’m telling you, I felt like a dried up prune.
So anywho. The first night. On cloud 9. Things are going great. I’m eating anything my heart desires. He’s sleeping. I have my Christmas movies on display. I’m out of bed with an assist (weird being a nurse to now be the patient. I was good though! I used my call bell and wore my non-skid socks!!). I’m feeling ok. We have a new baby. He’s cute. Life is good.
And then Day 2 early morning hits. LET ME TELL YOU. People don’t warn you about the second day. This cute sleepy baby from yesterday has now JUST REALIZED they are out into this cold, bright scary world. I digress. there will be another post for that.
Anyway this newborn you are in charge of now makes noise. Their brains are like: What. The. Actual. Is. Even. Happening.
And guess what? They figured out how to really wail. And cry. And just tell you basically “hey, I don’t like this. Put me back.” And the overstimulation you get when this happens. WOAH. Like take a chill pill little baby. Everything will be fine if you just let me think for a second. Please. Let. Me. THINK. Ugh. Let me be the one to tell you that it’s completely fine in this moment to need a break. A breath. Just let them cry for a split second more so you can get your bearings straight. IT WILL BE OK. You will figure it out. But it’s completely ok to get frustrated. And stressed. And Overwhelmed. Second night scaries are so true. With the help of Johnny and the nurses. We got through it!
It takes a village. They are there to help. It’s ok to lean on the medical team. Because when you go home, it’s just you guys. Ask a bunch of questions. Let them show you how to swaddle your baby 50397428374 times. There are no stupid questions. Trust me. I’ve asked them all!! And I am trained in medicine, I should know this stuff! But somehow, your brain is BLANK. You forget everything when you are solely in charge of this newborn. It’s crazy, you forget everything but somehow, still know what to do!
This life is so different then what you ever imagined. Not in a bad way. Just very different. People say your life changes when you have kids but you don’t even realize how much it actually does. It makes sense that it would I mean its a HUMAN. But nothing really prepares you. You just have to jump right in. And everything will be ok. You are learning, your baby is learning. Its just one big pile of “ i don’t know what’s wrong let’s try this”.
It’s hard. It’s frustrating. You feel unprepared. It’s ok to need a few moments alone. If that makes you a better parent, let the nurse have your baby for a second while you go try to breathe! pee! or shower! IT IS OK TO ASK FOR HELP. No shame in that.
Anyway. Enjoy that first night. The sleepy baby. That first meal you’ve been waiting to eat. That comfortable hospital bed.
Because I’ll see ya on the flip side for DAY 2. Are you ready?
